“You’re Going to Cry, and That’s Fine”

I’ve been to a fair few weddings in my time, and I’ll be honest with you — until I sat down with Sinéad Laffan, I couldn’t have told you exactly what a celebrant does all day. I had a vague picture of someone standing at the front with a folder, saying the words, and then quietly disappearing before the buffet.

Turns out that’s not it at all.

Sinéad runs Celebrations by Sinéad, and if you’ve come across her on Instagram you’ll know she’s built a bit of a following by giving away genuinely useful advice about weddings. She joined me on Cheshire’s Mix 56 and, as ever, I came away with about four things I want to tell people about. Here are the best of them.

So what is a celebrant, exactly?

In Sinéad’s own words, she helps couples “recognise, celebrate and really share the significance of their relationship” — mostly through how the ceremony is designed and delivered.

In practice, that means she’s there roughly two hours before anyone else is thinking about it. Chatting to the venue staff. Meeting guests as they arrive and, brilliantly, asking who you belong to.

Standing at the front with the groom while everyone waits. Then telling the couple’s story, running the vows, handling the ring exchange, pulling people into the moment.

She described herself as something like the emcee of the ceremony. I’d said I usually spot her giggling in the corner of the room, and she put me right immediately: she’s rarely in the corner. She’s in the middle.

The bit nobody warns you about: the emotions

Sinéad said something that stuck with me. We are, culturally, quite frightened of feelings. We’re worried about crying. We’re worried about all of that bubbling up in front of ninety people.

Part of her job is simply being the familiar face at the front who can say: yes, you’re going to cry, it’s fine, we’re all going to get through this together and it’s going to be wonderful. She said it always is.

She also pointed out that most couples have never done this before. Of course it’s scary. Having someone beside you who has done it hundreds of times takes an enormous amount of weight off.

The vow-writing tip I’d steal in a heartbeat

This was my favourite thing she said, and it costs nothing.

Stop staring at the blank piece of paper. Go for a walk instead. Take your phone out, hit record, and talk as if you’re telling your best mate about your partner — a mate who has never met them.

Tell them how wonderful this person is and why you’re marrying them.

Then listen back.

It moves vows out of the realm of homework and into how you actually talk about someone you love. Simple, and much less terrifying than an empty page at 11pm.

Weddings are expensive. Should you wait?

There’s a lot of conversation about this in Cheshire at the moment, so I asked her directly.

She was sympathetic — weddings genuinely are expensive — but her advice was: don’t wait. Work out the smallest, simplest version of the day that would truly make you happy, and then go and do that. Being married, she said from her own experience, is a wonderful thing.

How to check a celebrant is the real deal

I asked what people should be looking for when they book someone. She gave three things:

1. Would you have a coffee or a pint with this person?  Do they make you feel warm, comfortable and safe?
2. Do they have relevant insurances – and have you seen a contract?
3. Listen to the quality of their questions.  If they’re a talker rather than an asker, you’re probably in the wrong place.

She added that social proof matters too: check the Google reviews, look at the website, see how long they’ve been going, read what people are saying in the comments. And if you’re still unsure, just ask whether you can speak to a couple they’ve worked with.

That third point is the one I keep thinking about. It’s a decent test for almost anyone you hire.

A ceremony that involved a two-year-old

The loveliest story of the chat: a couple who wanted to include a small army of nieces and nephews. Sinéad built a handfasting ritual — where the couple’s wrists are bound together with ribbons — and had all the children decorate the ribbons. One two-year-old was carried up in his mum’s arms to add his.

That’s the difference between a ceremony people sit through and one people remember.

Where to find her

Sinéad’s working from LA to Hong Kong these days, with Greece and South Carolina in the diary. Not, sadly, a Mamma Mia wedding just yet — though she didn’t rule out 2027.

You’ll find her on Instagram at @celebrationsbysinead, or at celebrationsbysinead.com.